Well that clears things up...

A short excerpt...  This is the diagnosis.  If this thing doesn't clear up before Sunday, I'm in deep - excuse the foul language and perfectly placed pun - shit.

Gastroenteritis (also known as gastro, gastric flu, tummy bug in the United Kingdom, and stomach flu, although unrelated to influenza) is inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract, involving both the stomach and the small intestine (see also gastritis and enteritis) and resulting in acute diarrhea. The inflammation is caused most often by infection with certain viruses, less often by bacteria or their toxins,parasites, or adverse reaction to something in the diet or medication. Worldwide, inadequate treatment of gastroenteritis kills 5 to 8 million people per year,^[1] and is a leading cause of death among infants and children under 5.^[2]

At least 50% of cases of gastroenteritis as foodborne illness are due to norovirus.^[3] Another 20% of cases, and the majority of severe cases in children, are due to rotavirus. Other significant viral agents include adenovirus^[4] and astrovirus.

Different species of bacteria can cause gastroenteritis, including Salmonella, Shigella, Staphylococcus, Campylobacter jejuni, Clostridium,Escherichia coli, Yersinia, and others. Some sources of the infection are improperly prepared food, reheated meat dishes, seafood, dairy, and bakery products. Each organism causes slightly different symptoms but all result in diarrhea. Colitis, inflammation of the large intestine, may also be present.

Risk factors include consumption of improperly prepared foods or contaminated water and travel or residence in areas of poor sanitation. It is also common for river swimmers to become infected during times of rain as a result of contaminated runoff water. ^[5]The incidence is 1 in 1,000 people.

Gastroenteritis can be classified as either viral or bacterial.